You probably heard Jill Scott singing in your head as you read that huh? lol
Well guys it's a new year & I'm the same me; a procrastinator. lol. This post was intended for a birthday post back in October. But guess what? Better late than never. *shrugs
On October 25th I turned 25; my golden birthday! & if I haven't been before, this next year I intend to "live my life like it's golden." I have learned so much about life & myself & I'm really ready to live it to the fullest.
Well so far so good for the start of my "Golden Year." Which has also been dubbed my "Cardi B Year" lol (minus the cheating from her man & pregnancy)
After I turned 25 I began to have a different outlook on life. If you read my post 'Overwhelmed,' you know how I felt at the time. But I was determined to not feel that way going forward; not dwell on the past & what I hadn't accomplished before 25; & make every day count towards life after 25.
I began to do better at work, received recognition from top management, got a promotion, & bought my dream car!
So yea, so far so good!
Keep reading for 25 points from me. Things I've learned in life thus far mixed in with random facts about myself.
1. It’s Not Much That We Deserve
It’s so funny…every time my friends & I buy something we really don’t need or use our free time to go have fun instead of being productive we say, “You know what? I deserve this!” And the other responds, “You sure do!” Now let’s just stop and have an honest moment. lol. If I reallyyy deserved it would I have to verbally say it? NO! My actions would speak for themselves. Saying “I deserve this!” is really just me trying to make myself believe it, justify my wrong doing, and having my friends in on my dirty work. lol.
The reality is if you want something you work for it. And you don’t just work for it, you work HARD for it. If you think you deserve a job paying six figures, with a corner office, benefits, and a company car what are you doing in your current job to get you there? What things are you doing to add to your resume? What networking events are you attending? If you think you deserve those designer shoes with the matching purse how disciplined are you with saving? How about packing your lunch instead of eating out every day. Yea it’s only a few dollars here and there, but overtime it adds up!
Having the notion that you just automatically deserve something is really just being lazy and expecting that thing to just fall in your lap or be given to you. It is often said that hard work trumps talent. That’s why we listen to the radio and think, “How in the world did this person get a record deal!? My cousin can out sing this girl ANY day!” Well guess what, Cousin Sue may have a voice like Whitney Houston, but that person on the radio put in the work.
2. My mom, my sister, & I are all born on the 25th. My mom is September 25th, my sister is March 25, & I'm October 25th. Isn't that cool/freaky!?
3. There’s No Such Thing as an Overnight Success
You ever listen to a new artist on the radio or see a new leading actor in a movie and think to yourself, “Wow this person just popped on the scene!”? Then listen to an old song and realize that same “new” artist is singing the chorus or doing background vocals. Or watch an old episode of your favorite sitcom and realize that same “new” leading actor was the waiter. It’s kind of like growing a flower. You don’t see the full growing process. You plant a seed, give it the proper care, and one day you have a beautiful flower.
Something worth having involves patience. Don’t be overly concerned about how you’re going to get somewhere or thinking that the journey is a sprint. A lot of small steps will eventually get you to your destination.
I feel that we often measure our success based on the success of others. We see them in a certain position and automatically feel that we should be there too. Don't be so hard on yourself. Make a plan, follow the steps, & be patient.
4. I like ice in my milk. Even when I eat cereal. I mean what's better than ice cold milk!?
5. Nothing is Ever What Is Seems: The Power of Perspective
You ever go into a situation sooo sure then at the end you’re like… ”Wait, I never expected that.” Or plot twist: What you thought was the end is actually the beginning!
See there’s this thing called perspective. What may seem one way in your life can be totally different in another part of your life. Or what may seem one way to you is something totally different to another person.
Your perspective is shaped by your surroundings and the things you encounter in life. So that’s why the same situation can seem different to you after a period of time or a certain event.
You know like that guy that you thought was super lame in high school who glew up in college? lol Now you’re like, “Heyyyy big head!” Or even more common, that guy that you thought was “the one” & now he’s “what was I thinking!?”
Be aware of perspective as you go throughout life. It'll help you understand yourself better as well as others. We tend to be so one-sided to the point that we limit ourselves.
For months I was unhappy in my job. I felt stagnant & unsure. I decided to change my perspective to look at everything in a positive manner. In a matter on WEEKS I started doing better at work & was offered a promotion. Most importantly, I am happy. The power is in you. It is all a matter of perception.
6. I only like to bathe with white towels. Something about the die in a towel freaks me out.
7. Stay Down Until You Can Come Up
We get ourselves into small troubles here & there; it happens. Then to get out of the small troubles we tend to get ourselves in bigger trouble.
I'll be transparent. So starting my online boutique & following my dreams & whatnot I spent more money than I intended & it kinda put me in a bit of a hole. My first thought was to borrow money to compensate. But guess what that would've done? Put me in a bigger hole. Cause then I would have yet another bill & be in debt with someone other than myself.
So I just waited & grinded it out. I knew at the end of the year I would be able to bounce back a bit. It took months, but I was able to pay off a bill early, pay off a credit card, take a trip, put money towards my business & still have a good bit left over to do what I wanted.
Often times we want instant gratification, but sometimes you just need to be patient & "stay down until you can come up."
8. I don't watch television. The t.v. in my room was turned on maybe three times last year. & I'm not trying to be deep or whatever like I'm reading books instead or doing yoga or something. lol. I just don't watch t.v. It just doesn't keep my attention or I could be using that time doing something else.
9. If You Stay Ready You Don't Have to Get Ready
Okay. I know this is easier said that done. It is impossible to always be ready for every single situation. But do the things that are in your control to stay ahead of the game. Go ahead & get business cards made, go ahead & update your resume, start your website, YouTube channel, etc. One of the worst feelings is having an opportunity presented to you & you can't take advantage of it because you haven't done the simple things that you needed to do.
This brand wanted me to blog for them & proceeded to ask for my business card. When I told her I didn't have one her response was "You're kidding me." Baby my face fell! But you know what?... I needed that. Simple business cards are inexpensive & don't have to be all fancy. I got my first batch made at Office Depot for maybe $10 at the most. I did a simple design on their website & even included a picture of myself & the business card has color. To my surprise people were impressed.
So get your stuff together people! We're not passing up on opportunities in 2018!!
10. I have driven/ridden through every state of the outer border of the United States of America from California to New York.
11. Wear a Wig!
Yes this is a legit life lesson I've learned in my 25 years.
Y'all I was sleep for awhile when it came to wearing wigs. Like I'm really actually upset that I didn't catch on earlier. Why go through the pain & time of a sew in when you can just pop a wig on!? They last a long time, save you time & money, protect your real hair, & you can switch it up more often. Most importantly it's easier to scratch your scalp:)
12. People who've never seen me & my dad in the same setting (like his high school classmates) come up to me & say I know who your dad is. Yea we look that much alike.
13. Post Everyday on Instagram
If you're a brand that's looking to grow your following on Instagram you should post on there everyday. Even if it's just a quote. I read all these articles & post on how to grow your Instagram following & consistent posting is the most common point. My following should be so much larger, but y'all know I get busy. lol. When I'm consistent with posting it actually works. I have seen my page gain about 4 followers a day when I post consistently on Instagram.
14. My closet is color-coded by the colors of the rainbow. Life is just easier that way.
15. Build Your Credit
Start building your credit as soon as you can. I think some people think that this is something that you need when you get older or you only need it when it's time to buy a house or a car. Don't start behind the ball. Remember if you stay ready you don't have to get ready.
& it's easy. Building healthy credit isn't as complicated as people make it out to be. Start off with a small credit card. Pay it on time & only use about 30% of your credit limit. Once you do good there try getting a small loan.
Biggest thing to having good credit is ALWAYS paying your bills on time.
I'd go further about credit but this could become a blog post of it's own. (Let me know if y'all want that.)
16. I hate going into the bathroom or in a stall RIGHT after somebody. lol. Idk I like to wait a period of time before I go in.
17. Stop & Think About What You Can Learn in This Moment
This point is similar to perspective that I talked about earlier. We spend a lot of time in a rush "to get to the next step of our lives." But take a moment to pay attention to the moment you're in now. What can you learn from this moment that is going to prepare your for the next? If you don't take the time to learn the things you need now, you'll "get to the next step" & be ill-prepared or it'll take you longer to there. Some people think that moving to another city or state or switching jobs will automatically change their situation. Then they get to the next place or job & end up having the same problems. Use where you are now to learn what is needed to prepare you for where you are going.
18. My dad, my two brothers, & I all have the same initials; JLP. I would disclose our full names, but ion need y'all knowing our full government names & whatnot. lol.
19. There's No Such Thing as the Perfect Time
Now there might be a such thing as the "optimal time." But the perfect time does not exist. If you're waiting for the perfect time to do something; start your blog, start your business, switch jobs, get married you'll be waiting for ever.
Before I started the Instagram page for Nascent I waited like 4-5 months. The waited another 4-5 months to actually launch the site. If I kept waiting for the perfect time I wouldn't even be typing this right now. One day I decided to just start.
Now of course there may be some prerequisites to whatever you are doing. Go ahead & get those out the way. But don't wait for the "perfect time" to launch because you'll be waiting forever.
20. Other than Baton Rouge I've lived in Dallas, Charlotte, & Washington D.C.
21. You'll Lose Friends
As you're growing up your mom tells you this & you think she's crazy cause that's "your girl!" Well I'm here to tell you mom was right. I've lost quite a few friends that I thought were my BFF4E&A. lol. But the thing is, it's okay. None of them really ended on like this dramatic blow up type deal. You grow & you change; that's life. Just because you don't talk everyday there doesn't have to be any love lost.
22. I've never had a pet. My mother wouldn't allow it. *inserts salty emoji (you know the one with the side face)
23. Never Settle
NEVER, never, N E V E R settle. You deserve the best in life in every aspect from relationships to jobs. Settling is usually an act of either laziness or self-doubt. But I'm here to tell you that whatever you want it's already YOURS.
Do the work needed to get where you want to be. In the long run it'll be worth it. As the saying goes..."Nothing worth having comes easy."
Now one thing that I do believe you deserve is to be happy. So that means go for what you want. Don't settle for what's in front of you now or what someone will just give you.
24. I get compliments on my blog & business but I really feel like I'm just winging it. lol.
25. You Lack NOTHING!
God has given us everything we need. You don't need more money, you don't need new clothes, you don't need three degrees to get where you're headed. Having faith in this alone will shift your mindset & your perspective. I promise you'll walk with more confidence!
We often feel inferior because we feel like we don't have what the next person has & that's what's stopping us. Nah they may have all the money for the YouTube equipment but you have the content. They may have the connections but you have the actual people skills. They may have the PhD, but you have the next great idea that will change the game.
Stop looking at other people & KNOW that you lack NOTHING. Use what God has given you, have faith, & you'll exceed beyond your wildest dreams.
If you got through all of this...thanks for reading! I could go on & on about life lessons because I've learned so much & I want to share it with others. But that's the whole purpose of this brand. Stay tuned for future blog posts to learn more about me & life! Comment below some of your life lessons!
Special thanks to Sarah Perkins for these beautiful pictures. This shoot was just what I wanted/needed to embody my feelings at this point in life.